Happiness tips

Recently I was coaching a group of clients on the phone. One of the assignments to one of the people was to stop during the day and breathe. Another assignment was to give herself a pat on the back. I recently heard from the client that these small steps were making her feel less stressed and more accepting. Happiness really is within reach–if we just try. Professor Tal Ben Shahar, a well known “happiness specialist”, suggests that there are six steps to happiness. The first requires that we give ourselves permission to be human! That means accepting our emotions and sitting with them instead of rejecting them. If you are having a hard time, hire a coach and set your course in the direction of happiness…that is one transition that will surely pay off great dividends in your life!

Life is Amazing! Live Well.

Anna Grassini
Your transitions coach
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com

Not taking oneself too seriously

Sometimes I think the secret to enjoying life is not to take myself too seriously.    This is not something that comes naturally to most of us–I don’t know at what stage of our life we lose our ability to be playful and to see how whimsical life can be.   Surely, transitions from childhood to adulthood make it easier to be serious.  We leave college and all of a sudden we have to be “grown-ups.”  We must be responsible. 
Along the way, we lose our ability to play. When do we become so self-important that we cannot take a moment to laugh at ourselves or enjoy the moment without an agenda?  I tell people that I am the definition of “high maintenance.”  This is part of not taking myself too seriously…I do realize that I still need to have control,  but I also realize that I cannot control much more than how I respond to what life sends my way.

In The Art of Possibility, author Benjamin Zander talks about “Rule Number 6″…this is the rule that says “Do not take yourself so seriously”….what a great gift to remind ourselves, even when we are in the midst of difficult transitions, that if we enforce Rule Number 6,  life will be full of wonder.

Life is Amazing! Live Well.

Anna Grassini

Life and transitions coach

See more about your transitions coach at www.lifeinbalancecoach.com

How will you be mindful this week?

This weekend I went to a class on mindfulness– defined on Wikipedia as calm awareness of one’s body functions, feelings, content of consciousness, or consciousness itself.  I will add that mindfulness brings about a noticing of our own thoughts and emotions,  which is essential if we want to bring change of any kind into our lives.  Transitions are hard,  even when we seek them–but they will never happen in a sensible way if we don’t usher them in with full consciousness.

As we start a new week, what will each one of us do to bring awareness in our lives?  Even if there is no time to stop the frenetic pace of our lives, I hope we will indulge ourselves in a few moments where we are not in autopilot.  Whether you are doing the dishes, driving to school or work, exercising or working, take a minute today to be fully present in the moment.  And let me know how it goes! The question really is–can you afford not to be present?

Life is Amazing! Live Well.

Anna Grassini

www.lifeinbalancecoach.com

Your Transitions Coach

Missing Twitter and Facebook

This morning Facebook and Twitter are having trouble!
Twitter Is Down!
Who knew that I would miss them…but I do. Somehow, now that I am in a new city, these social media are my new way to check in with the rest of the world–the new one in Houston, and the old one of my friends around the world. I realized that neither Twitter nor Facebook are cutting down on my interpersonal face-to-face interactions, but they are augmenting them. Now if a friend is on vacation, I can see their pictures and imagine a little bit what they are experiencing…I really love it! I would not consider myself an addict yet, but I would say that the new technologies have enhanced life…overall, I think if used wisely, they can add something!
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com

The joy of having younger friends

It is becoming my experience that nothing keeps me younger and more close to the world than to befriend young people. Today I spent some time with a remarkable young woman who will soon be graduating from my alma mater, Wellesley College. Spending time with such a lovely person provided me with a great connection to today’s world and reinforced for me how useful experience is. Sometimes sharing my wisdom also opens me up to the miracle of the journey I have undertaken through the years. What a beautiful story each one can weave through our lives…whether it is a story of resilience, courage, struggle, persistence, each one of us is our story!
So, if you are challenged and feeling lonely, think about your story and go out there in the world to find a young person–don’t just tell your story, but show your interest, ask questions, support them…and be open to receive joy in return!
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com

Doing archeology on ourselves

Have you cleaned out a closet recently? We recently moved and there was more than one to clean. As I look back on the process, I am fascinated by what I unearthed along the way…and it gave me time to pause and reflect on the person I used to be and the one I have become. I won’t bore you with the details–suffice it to say that I see some positive trends except in the weight category!!! But I do want to invite you, the reader, to reflect. If you were to look at a closet or a corner of your bookshelf, what would it say about the person you used to be? What about the person you are right now? I hope you will find, as I have, that there is always room for improvement. And the gift of life is that we can change our choices on a daily basis!
Life is Amazing! Live Well.

Anna Grassini

www.lifeinbalancecoach.com

Are you listening to yourself?

Have you ever listened to the voices in your head? The ones that tell you that you must be crazy for feeling stuck in the high paying job, dumb for thinking that you could do something different…those same ones that said you could be better, more perfect, thinner, more beautiful, worthy etc! If we spent even a fraction of our time talking to the people around us the way we talk to ourselves, we would be alone all the time because nobody would want to be near us. How come we are so incredibly tough on ourselves? Do we have a choice?
I believe strongly (and there is a lot of literature out there about this) that the first step is for us to be aware of the chatter in our heads. What is it saying? Is it serving us? After we gain awareness, we can decide how we might like to change those messages to something more positive. I had breakfast with a very wise woman recently who said that every day she repeats to herself that is loved, luminous, wise…and more. What will you chose to say to yourself tomorrow?
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com

On leaving and moving and emotions

Transition is the movement from one stage to another–transitions can take all shapes and involve change that we either chose or that somehow fell upon us (think pink slip, death, illness…something transformative that we may not have chosen). Transitions are on my mind right now as I shift from one city to another. I have handled everything about the move with attention to detail, trying to keep my linear thinking and clarity through the process…and all was going well until the necessity to clear the clutter came about. All of a sudden, a wall of emotion came over me. Memories are what matter– we made them in this house, but they will travel with me in my heart…and yet the emotion is strong and there is an exquisite sadness about moving on. I am trying to wrap my arms around it…I remind myself to be kind and gentle to myself, and to sit with the emotions–to honor where I am and what I feel.
What are you experiencing in your own life transitions? Would love to hear!

the Clutter Magnet

So I wish I could say I have invented a “clutter magnet”–an object that magically attracts all clutter and “disappers” into order. Alas, no such great news from me…I am, and have always been, a clutter magnet: in the sense that clutter appears around me everywhere. My friend Mary Thompson says that I can live with clutter because my brain is extremely organized (she has the spices alphabetized in the pantry–who knew that could be possible!). There is some truth to that. But as I prepare to move and I methodically unclutter the space around me, I am amused to see that there is some real zen in having fewer objects around. How I will be able to replicate the experiment of order after I move is an entirely different source of musings. In the meantime, for those of you out there desiring decluttering resources, check out some of Julie Morgensten’s books…and see where that new knowledge takes you. If you are still a clutter magnet at the end of the process, don’t be surprised. Just make sure your brain stays organized! And, if you need help with that, hire a life coach!

Life is Amazing! Live Well.

Anna Grassini

Control and choice–in business and life.

Whether in your business or in your daily life (think in relation to others!), what is the difference between being in control and choosing? Aside from the obvious negative connotation usually associated with control, dig deeper. What distinguishes the two?

Take the example of the housework that needs to get done around most homes. The wife wants the kitchen counter cleaned a certain way, the husband cleans it another way. The wife then accuses the husband of not doing it right…and he says she is control freak. True or false? What are the choices people could make here? Does the counter have to look a certain way? Can there be flexibility and possible outcomes that are all desirable? Maybe a less perfection? What is the dream beneath the idea that the counter has to be just so?
If you have to have the chore done your way or the highway and nobody can come close to doing it that way, you might explore whether you have some issues of control. If however, you can be flexible–maybe you do the task yourself without holding a grudge because you decide that it pleases you to have the kitchen counter looking a certain way and it is worth the effort. Maybe you decide that it is better to have the other person help, even if the counter does not look exactly like what you think. What are the choices that you can make that enrich your life and that of the people who work or live with you? What is the control about? “Inquire within” and look for the answers that will make your business and your relationships richer!

Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com