Think about change–envision it as waves that come to shore. Think of yourself standing on the shore. Some of the waves are big, some of them are barely ripples on the water. They coming onto the shore relentlessly, continuously…. It is a fact–we cannot control the waves. Sometimes, if we are lucky, we can move away from them…but if we are at the shore, they will keep coming! And so with change. Sometimes it is small and incremental, like a small ripple, sometimes it is big and impactful, like the waves that precede the tsunami. Even for those who are fearless, change can be tremendous and harder than ever imagined.
Success in life is not about controlling change–we cannot be unscathed when we are battered by a particularly big wave. But we can heal. Success is about accepting that change is part of life and that we can find grace in it. We can embrace it, learn from it–and we can give ourselves the space and time we need to heal, to grow strong after we are battered, to improve and change so that the next wave will find us stronger! Take charge of your life—not by eliminating change, but by knowing that there is a gift in it. It is yours for the taking.
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com
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Change–it is not in our control!
New Year, Old Self
The first working Monday of a new year and a new decade. Forgive me for not asking you about your new year resolutions–personally, I think I woke up on January 1st being my jolly old self of the year before and it’s been a long time since I have made New Year’s resolutions. Change happens slowly and over time–and the arbitrary start of a new year hardly changes who we are. Better to resolve to change what and when we need–which may not be the first of the year, but when we become aware of the need for change. Of course, there is something lovely about thinking about the possibilities–but really, why not work at improving ourselves one little bit at a time, both in January and in July?
So smile, embrace who you are fully and, if there is something that needs changing, take it on. Not because it is the new year, but because the possibility for renewal exists at every moment in your life.
May the new year bring you the strength and resolution to be all that you can be–one day at a time, one step at the time, one change at a time…
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
Transition coach
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com
The power of women
This week I was reminded of the power of women–collectively and as individuals. I had the opportunity to attend the Texas Women’s Conference, where 5000 Texan women gathered to hear many speakers. For me, the highlight of the conference was a speech by Ms. Isabel Allende. She reminded us to pursue joy and pleasure in life–yes pleasure! She talked about “mamisma”, femininity defined by mature and maternal qualities. Mamisma is an energy available to all women, not just mothers. It is the essence of powerful women–who do not have to act like men to succeed. I wish I could have bottled the energy of the 5000 women–I sat next to a friend, feeling empowered, hopeful, optimistic. And, most of all, joyful. What if we could conquer our fears not by taking a warrior stance but by embracing our femininity? The collective power of women in the room was palpable….I hope each one of us took a little bit of it away with us! Ms. Allende recalled the stories of one woman in Mexico and one in the US who dared to make a difference. These two women were mothers, not powerful media personalities. But they chose to help others…each one of us can make a difference. How easy it is to be enveloped by fear and to forget. Courage is to remember that we can make a mark even when we fear.
May we all go out in the world and emobody the graceful energy of mamisma…
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
The importance of connecting
I am just back from an amazing experience talking to over 20 smart Wellesley students about networking (and I don’t mean the kind that requires hardware!) I sometimes wonder if “networking” has not gotten a dirty reputation–if it has been cheapened by people who use it as a superficial way to get what is in their interest. Those same people who exchange business cards and who expect to get your business because you have met them once. I think that is the wrong way to think about networking. The really good networking is about connecting to other people and letting them know that we are genuinely interested in them. We are curious about who they are and what their story is. Real networking is as much about giving as it is about receiving. It is about connecting with people because we are curious about them. Then, sometimes, if we have created good meaningful connections, sometimes our “network” is the place where we get a payback–we find a job, a friend, an internship, a lead…but that is really only secondary!
Of course, like everything in life, when we are young (as the Wellesley students were!) we are not fully conscious of what we have to give. Nor do we know how to ask for help! Don’t be shy. And remember–networking is an art and a skill that requires practice and patience. Hire a coach and set your goal to conquer shyness and acquire people skills…it can be done!
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com
Happiness tips
Recently I was coaching a group of clients on the phone. One of the assignments to one of the people was to stop during the day and breathe. Another assignment was to give herself a pat on the back. I recently heard from the client that these small steps were making her feel less stressed and more accepting. Happiness really is within reach–if we just try. Professor Tal Ben Shahar, a well known “happiness specialist”, suggests that there are six steps to happiness. The first requires that we give ourselves permission to be human! That means accepting our emotions and sitting with them instead of rejecting them. If you are having a hard time, hire a coach and set your course in the direction of happiness…that is one transition that will surely pay off great dividends in your life!
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
Your transitions coach
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com
Not taking oneself too seriously
Sometimes I think the secret to enjoying life is not to take myself too seriously. This is not something that comes naturally to most of us–I don’t know at what stage of our life we lose our ability to be playful and to see how whimsical life can be. Surely, transitions from childhood to adulthood make it easier to be serious. We leave college and all of a sudden we have to be “grown-ups.” We must be responsible.
Along the way, we lose our ability to play. When do we become so self-important that we cannot take a moment to laugh at ourselves or enjoy the moment without an agenda? I tell people that I am the definition of “high maintenance.” This is part of not taking myself too seriously…I do realize that I still need to have control, but I also realize that I cannot control much more than how I respond to what life sends my way.
In The Art of Possibility, author Benjamin Zander talks about “Rule Number 6″…this is the rule that says “Do not take yourself so seriously”….what a great gift to remind ourselves, even when we are in the midst of difficult transitions, that if we enforce Rule Number 6, life will be full of wonder.
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
Life and transitions coach
See more about your transitions coach at www.lifeinbalancecoach.com
This weekend I went to a class on mindfulness– defined on Wikipedia as calm awareness of one’s body functions, feelings, content of consciousness, or consciousness itself. I will add that mindfulness brings about a noticing of our own thoughts and emotions, which is essential if we want to bring change of any kind into our lives. Transitions are hard, even when we seek them–but they will never happen in a sensible way if we don’t usher them in with full consciousness.
As we start a new week, what will each one of us do to bring awareness in our lives? Even if there is no time to stop the frenetic pace of our lives, I hope we will indulge ourselves in a few moments where we are not in autopilot. Whether you are doing the dishes, driving to school or work, exercising or working, take a minute today to be fully present in the moment. And let me know how it goes! The question really is–can you afford not to be present?
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
Your Transitions Coach
Missing Twitter and Facebook
This morning Facebook and Twitter are having trouble!
Twitter Is Down!
Who knew that I would miss them…but I do. Somehow, now that I am in a new city, these social media are my new way to check in with the rest of the world–the new one in Houston, and the old one of my friends around the world. I realized that neither Twitter nor Facebook are cutting down on my interpersonal face-to-face interactions, but they are augmenting them. Now if a friend is on vacation, I can see their pictures and imagine a little bit what they are experiencing…I really love it! I would not consider myself an addict yet, but I would say that the new technologies have enhanced life…overall, I think if used wisely, they can add something!
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com
It is becoming my experience that nothing keeps me younger and more close to the world than to befriend young people. Today I spent some time with a remarkable young woman who will soon be graduating from my alma mater, Wellesley College. Spending time with such a lovely person provided me with a great connection to today’s world and reinforced for me how useful experience is. Sometimes sharing my wisdom also opens me up to the miracle of the journey I have undertaken through the years. What a beautiful story each one can weave through our lives…whether it is a story of resilience, courage, struggle, persistence, each one of us is our story!
So, if you are challenged and feeling lonely, think about your story and go out there in the world to find a young person–don’t just tell your story, but show your interest, ask questions, support them…and be open to receive joy in return!
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com
Women with grace and power
What a way to start a new week! I had breakfast with two women who are both mothers, powerful attorneys at large firms, and generous community volunteers. Although they are blessed to have much help in their lives, they are in stressful careers and make life look easy. I am amazed and in awe of their ability to juggle so much with grace and with generosity towards others.
This morning the discussion was about Dress for Success–an organization I am looking forward to learning more about.
One thing is for sure–when you put on your outfit to go to work tomorrow, there is much to be grateful for! May you look in the mirror and see the confident beauty of being a strong woman reflected back to you. May your day be full of brilliant and generous people all around…and may your own heart radiate with the knowledge that together, as women, we can accomplish much!
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
