I am just back from an amazing experience talking to over 20 smart Wellesley students about networking (and I don’t mean the kind that requires hardware!) I sometimes wonder if “networking” has not gotten a dirty reputation–if it has been cheapened by people who use it as a superficial way to get what is in their interest. Those same people who exchange business cards and who expect to get your business because you have met them once. I think that is the wrong way to think about networking. The really good networking is about connecting to other people and letting them know that we are genuinely interested in them. We are curious about who they are and what their story is. Real networking is as much about giving as it is about receiving. It is about connecting with people because we are curious about them. Then, sometimes, if we have created good meaningful connections, sometimes our “network” is the place where we get a payback–we find a job, a friend, an internship, a lead…but that is really only secondary!
Of course, like everything in life, when we are young (as the Wellesley students were!) we are not fully conscious of what we have to give. Nor do we know how to ask for help! Don’t be shy. And remember–networking is an art and a skill that requires practice and patience. Hire a coach and set your goal to conquer shyness and acquire people skills…it can be done!
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com
The importance of connecting
Happiness tips
Recently I was coaching a group of clients on the phone. One of the assignments to one of the people was to stop during the day and breathe. Another assignment was to give herself a pat on the back. I recently heard from the client that these small steps were making her feel less stressed and more accepting. Happiness really is within reach–if we just try. Professor Tal Ben Shahar, a well known “happiness specialist”, suggests that there are six steps to happiness. The first requires that we give ourselves permission to be human! That means accepting our emotions and sitting with them instead of rejecting them. If you are having a hard time, hire a coach and set your course in the direction of happiness…that is one transition that will surely pay off great dividends in your life!
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
Your transitions coach
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com
Not taking oneself too seriously
Sometimes I think the secret to enjoying life is not to take myself too seriously. This is not something that comes naturally to most of us–I don’t know at what stage of our life we lose our ability to be playful and to see how whimsical life can be. Surely, transitions from childhood to adulthood make it easier to be serious. We leave college and all of a sudden we have to be “grown-ups.” We must be responsible.
Along the way, we lose our ability to play. When do we become so self-important that we cannot take a moment to laugh at ourselves or enjoy the moment without an agenda? I tell people that I am the definition of “high maintenance.” This is part of not taking myself too seriously…I do realize that I still need to have control, but I also realize that I cannot control much more than how I respond to what life sends my way.
In The Art of Possibility, author Benjamin Zander talks about “Rule Number 6″…this is the rule that says “Do not take yourself so seriously”….what a great gift to remind ourselves, even when we are in the midst of difficult transitions, that if we enforce Rule Number 6, life will be full of wonder.
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
Life and transitions coach
See more about your transitions coach at www.lifeinbalancecoach.com
This weekend I went to a class on mindfulness– defined on Wikipedia as calm awareness of one’s body functions, feelings, content of consciousness, or consciousness itself. I will add that mindfulness brings about a noticing of our own thoughts and emotions, which is essential if we want to bring change of any kind into our lives. Transitions are hard, even when we seek them–but they will never happen in a sensible way if we don’t usher them in with full consciousness.
As we start a new week, what will each one of us do to bring awareness in our lives? Even if there is no time to stop the frenetic pace of our lives, I hope we will indulge ourselves in a few moments where we are not in autopilot. Whether you are doing the dishes, driving to school or work, exercising or working, take a minute today to be fully present in the moment. And let me know how it goes! The question really is–can you afford not to be present?
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
Your Transitions Coach
Missing Twitter and Facebook
This morning Facebook and Twitter are having trouble!
Twitter Is Down!
Who knew that I would miss them…but I do. Somehow, now that I am in a new city, these social media are my new way to check in with the rest of the world–the new one in Houston, and the old one of my friends around the world. I realized that neither Twitter nor Facebook are cutting down on my interpersonal face-to-face interactions, but they are augmenting them. Now if a friend is on vacation, I can see their pictures and imagine a little bit what they are experiencing…I really love it! I would not consider myself an addict yet, but I would say that the new technologies have enhanced life…overall, I think if used wisely, they can add something!
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com
It is becoming my experience that nothing keeps me younger and more close to the world than to befriend young people. Today I spent some time with a remarkable young woman who will soon be graduating from my alma mater, Wellesley College. Spending time with such a lovely person provided me with a great connection to today’s world and reinforced for me how useful experience is. Sometimes sharing my wisdom also opens me up to the miracle of the journey I have undertaken through the years. What a beautiful story each one can weave through our lives…whether it is a story of resilience, courage, struggle, persistence, each one of us is our story!
So, if you are challenged and feeling lonely, think about your story and go out there in the world to find a young person–don’t just tell your story, but show your interest, ask questions, support them…and be open to receive joy in return!
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com
Women with grace and power
What a way to start a new week! I had breakfast with two women who are both mothers, powerful attorneys at large firms, and generous community volunteers. Although they are blessed to have much help in their lives, they are in stressful careers and make life look easy. I am amazed and in awe of their ability to juggle so much with grace and with generosity towards others.
This morning the discussion was about Dress for Success–an organization I am looking forward to learning more about.
One thing is for sure–when you put on your outfit to go to work tomorrow, there is much to be grateful for! May you look in the mirror and see the confident beauty of being a strong woman reflected back to you. May your day be full of brilliant and generous people all around…and may your own heart radiate with the knowledge that together, as women, we can accomplish much!
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
Doing archeology on ourselves
Have you cleaned out a closet recently? We recently moved and there was more than one to clean. As I look back on the process, I am fascinated by what I unearthed along the way…and it gave me time to pause and reflect on the person I used to be and the one I have become. I won’t bore you with the details–suffice it to say that I see some positive trends except in the weight category!!! But I do want to invite you, the reader, to reflect. If you were to look at a closet or a corner of your bookshelf, what would it say about the person you used to be? What about the person you are right now? I hope you will find, as I have, that there is always room for improvement. And the gift of life is that we can change our choices on a daily basis!
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com
Are you listening to yourself?
Have you ever listened to the voices in your head? The ones that tell you that you must be crazy for feeling stuck in the high paying job, dumb for thinking that you could do something different…those same ones that said you could be better, more perfect, thinner, more beautiful, worthy etc! If we spent even a fraction of our time talking to the people around us the way we talk to ourselves, we would be alone all the time because nobody would want to be near us. How come we are so incredibly tough on ourselves? Do we have a choice?
I believe strongly (and there is a lot of literature out there about this) that the first step is for us to be aware of the chatter in our heads. What is it saying? Is it serving us? After we gain awareness, we can decide how we might like to change those messages to something more positive. I had breakfast with a very wise woman recently who said that every day she repeats to herself that is loved, luminous, wise…and more. What will you chose to say to yourself tomorrow?
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
www.lifeinbalancecoach.com
Here is an excellent article for people looking for a job or for those who are receiving calls from people they may not know to well. I love the part about remembering that one day you may be in someonelse’s shoes! Great advice on working within one’s network to learn more about opportunities! And don’t forget–don’t make your next transition along…hire a coach to help you find your vision and encourage you along the way.
NYT Article on Networking
Life is Amazing! Live Well.
Anna Grassini
